You might believe that being connected and tuned in to the Universe also means you have to let go of control in your life. If that’s what you’re thinking, it makes sense! So often, we’re told to ‘let go’ and to stop trying to control everything. We’re told to ‘go with the flow’ and let life lead us. That this is how we show our trust in the Universe.
You don’t have to, and you shouldn’t, give up control in your life.
Control can actually be a good thing
The deep need we feel for a sense of control in our lives exists for good reason. There are a lot of benefits to having some control. We make decisions quicker and more confidently when we feel as if our actions truly influence the outcome. We also tend to stay focused and keep moving towards what we want, even when going through rough times along the way. And when we feel as if we are in charge of the important things, it can be a whole lot easier to relax. And when you can relax, it’s a whole lot easier to hear the inner voice of your intuitive self.
Often helping a client recognize where they have some control in a messy life situation, means they start feeling more empowered. They are more able to focus on what they truly want and desire rather than just reacting to what’s happening around them.
So what’s it mean to be ‘in control’?
One way to think about it is that you have the ability to manage what happens in your life. You have choices and options available to you. Being in control means you can influence many of the factors in your day-to-day life.
It’s important to recognize that not all control is equal. Generally, you can’t control other people and you can’t control the outcome of situations. Attempting to do so makes you miserable and creates problems rather than improving life.
On the other hand, the more we are in control of our internal state, the better our external world becomes. By controlling your thoughts, attention, and reactions, you start improving your relationships, work, and enjoyment of life. It’s also important to recognize that this self-control isn’t about imposing a whole lot of rigid rules for yourself. It is about developing a flexible responsive way of choosing what’s true for you and what brings you closer to your highest version of yourself.
Areas we can control to make a world of difference in our personal lives:
- Thoughts- The thoughts you think are self generated, which means you can learn to control them, or at least ignore some of them. Taking charge of your perceptions, attitudes, beliefs, and the stories you tell yourself can create huge shifts in your life.
- Time- Learning to focus, set intentions, prioritize and make choices about how you want to live your life can greatly influence time in your life. Being intentional about time is powerful.
- Environment- Taking control of your environment includes the simple things like decluttering and managing your belongings as well as the bigger things like where you will live and work. Taking action to make your environment one that works for you helps you focus, feel better, and follow through on the things you set out to do.
- Relationships- Nurture the relationships that bring value to your life and that are important to you. Choose who you give your time to and who you do not. Establish healthy boundaries that expand your life.
- Actions- Choosing your actions rather than being reactive is incredibly freeing and empowering. It is the small daily decisions and actions we take that create our life.
As you take control of your life in the ways described, you are able to feel less stressed and more relaxed. You’re able to focus on reaching for your highest potential. You are in charge of your life more than it is in charge of you.
And when this type of control kicks in, it becomes much easier to make space to truly hear your intuitive self, feel the energy of the world around you, and connect with the Universe/God/Goddess/Spirit.
You can start disconnecting from the social constraints you’ve been taught and truly know your desires and wants.
Being in control of yourself gives you power over your life and lets you choose the risks you take. It allows you more freedom to trust yourself, which in turn leads to trusting others more fully.
So this then is the paradox: Learning to be in relationship with our need for control can allow us to more fully let go and receive.
If you want to explore how you can use control as a tool in your life, schedule your Take Charge session with me today and let’s figure out how you can have more ease and play in your world.
P.S. Want to know how to say ‘no’ and feel good about doing so? Grab my Setting Boundaries PDF here.
